South Park and The Dragon Stone
by Total Drama God
Summary: A continuation of sorts of South Park The Stick of Truth. Love it? Hate it? Review!
1. Chapter 1

**South Park: The Dragon Stone Wars**

**Chapter 1**

**A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...**

**Cartman: What the fuck man! Wrong intro!**

**Me:Fuck, right.**

**In the realm of Zaron, in the reign of King Douche Bag the Jew, the world prospered in the times of peace. Without the stick, things were decided fairly, by the council of 6 titans, made up of representatives from the humans, elves, dark armies, pirates, federation, and girls. The world was expanded, as the council claimed new territories, and kingdoms of savages and monsters to the north and natives to the south were relocated, as the game expanded on the theory of The way kewler Manifest Destiny. Things were going really great. Until a discovery was made. A discovery that turned the world upside down.**

**Council Chamber(Cartmans Room)...**

**"What is it?" Clyde asked, pushing to get a better view. "The natives called it a 'Dragon Stone.' According to them, if the true keeper of the stone found it, a dragon would come out and answer to his every command. A real dragon!" Kyle said, marveling at the stone. It was a big chunk of obsidian with veins of orange running through it. The stone had been retrieved in a raid lead by the humans and elves, and the Council was discussing its powers. "Perhaps this is the next object of prophecy?" Kevin said, reaching to touch it, but his hand was slapped away by Kyle. "No, dude! We swore that we would never have another object o power like the stick! It drove us all to madness, and nearly killed us all." Eric looked over. "Well what if your the warrior if prophecy?" This hadn't crossed Kyle's mind. What if he was the warrior? "Maybe your right. Maybe we should." This put all the kids in silence as they thought about it. "Ah fuck it, lets vote. All in favor of this rock being the new item?" Every hand went up. "Alright then, it'll start here since it would be really hard to move it. And as of right now, the peace is over, and this council is disbanded. Gentlemen, and Wendy... This. Means. War." With that, the kids set off to prepare for the bloodshed that was inevitable when playing for universal domination. Except for Eric. He had bigger fish to fry. That fish being the neighbors across the street. His mom had forced him into meeting his new neighbors and showing there kids around town. "But mem, why can't those kids show themselves around?" Eric asked as his mom made brownies. "Because there new and I want you to make some new friends." "But meeeem, I like my old friends better then those douches." Eric said. "Eric, its always good to broaden your horizons." His mom said. "But, meeeeeeeeeeem!" Eric whined, dragging out his sentence. "Now Eric." Eric's mom yelled. "Fuck." Eric said as he squeezed his way out the door towards the two houses that had just been sold. He walked across the lawn when a huge German Shepard jumped the fence and trampled Cartman. "AH, fuck! Get off me, you son of a bitch! Help me! Fuck, no, stop licking me! I am not a fucking dog treat, god dammit!" Eric yelled as the dog continued to trample him and lick his face. It took Eric a moment to notice the kid in his panic. At first he was reluctant, being the racist douche he was. The kid was black, possibly Latino of some form because of his skin, with dreads, a bulls jersey, baggy jeans, and high tops. But he figured it was better than dying. "Help! You! Help me! Los perro off me!" Cartman yelled. The kid smiled. "The fuck man, help me!" Eric yelled. "Mastiff, down." The kid said. Eric sat up as the dog came back and flipped down next to the kid. "Dude, what the fuck! Why'd you do that!" Eric yelled, panting. The kid shrugged. "Looked fun." Eric stood up and said "Wild guess, but are you from Costa Rica?" Cartman asked. "Puerto Rico." The kid corrected. Eric shrugged. Close enough. "I'm here to show you around." The kid shrugged. "Wild guess, but did your parents put you up to this?" Eric nodded. "Look, thanks, but a friend of mine is coming over t show me." "Friend, who the fuck could you possibly know, you got here last night?" Eric asked. The question was answered by a voice behind him. "Hey Eric, hey Trey. You ready?" Eric turned to see Token standing on the sidewalk. "Oh. That makes sense. K bye." Eric said. **

**When he walked over to the other house, the kid was already leaving- and heading towards Stan. "No!" Eric yelled. Too late, Stan looked at the kid and stopped kicking his soccer ball. "Sup." Stan said. "Hey. I just moved can I play?" Stan shrugged and kicked it over. The kid began bouncing it from foot to foot and off his head. "Drive." Stan said. The kid took off, slicing through the grass. Stan ran after him but it was like watching a deer chase a cheetah: Stan couldn't keep up. It ended with a kick as hard as he could into the net. Stan whistled. "Dude. That's awesome. What's your name." " Nico. You?" "I'm Stan. You wanna hang out?" Nico smiled. "Yeah sure." Across the street, Eric groaned. "God DAMMIT!" **

**Little did Cartman know that losing his opportunity to make those friends would make things harder down the road, and probably for the reason you think. Not much for subtlety. Sorry.**


	2. Chapter 2

**South Park: The Dragon Stone Wars**

**Chapter 2**

**Token led Trey around the town, pointing out various points. "Here's the school, City Wok, the bank- my advice, keep your cash out of there, the post office, the coffee shop, and my house. So where you from?" "Miami." Token couldn't help but smile. "Ah, i love South Beach. My uncle lives down there. You know anybody named Eddie B?" Trey looked up. "Yeah Eddie lived downstairs from me." Token turned around and blinked. "Ya know, you sound really familiar." Trey smirked. "I'd hope so. I'm up to 2,000,000 subs in YouTube." That's when it hit Token. "Your the Troll of South Beach! You hold the world record for most rage quits in 15 minutes!" Token said, amazed. "250,000 players gone. I practically bankrupted Call of Duty with that stunt. I guess repeatedly crashing the server and team killing angers some people. Who knew?" Trey said, cracking up. "So what are you doing here?" Token asked. Trey shrugged. "Meh. Bumming from state to state, trolling the locals, having fun. Just sort of ended up here with my buddy Nico." "The kid who lives next to you?" "That's him. Dudes fucking Loaded. Bought those houses for fun. Figured we'd bum around, hang out, make some friends, then either stay or head out to L.A." Token nodded. "Well, I know all my friends would be stoked to have you stay. We're all subscribed to you. They'd love to meet you." Trey shrugged. "I've got nothing better to do. Be cool to meet your bros." "Oh man, there gonna freak! Come on. We're all hanging at Kyle's house until the game starts again." "Game?" Trey asked. "Tell you when we get there. Come on!" Token said.**

**"Holy crap, your Nico Torino! Your the Troll of The Leaning Tower! You made the entire nation of Italy rage quit! You broke Halo!" Kyle said in absolute awe when Stan brought Nico in. "That's the surface dude. You should see him play soccer. We are going to tear the field apart this season. So here's the question: what's your stance on American football?" Stan asked. Nico took one look, then shrugged of his jacket to show his 49ers jersey, Michael Crabtree to be specific. "Ah, fuck, he's a San Francisco fan. At least he's not a Seattle fan. Those people are the Worst!" Stan said. "Hey- that is a hundred percent true." Nico laughed, making Stan and Kyle crack up too. "So- you wanna catch up on your uploads? It is Saturday after all." Stan said. "Yeah. You have to put up Troller Tag Team." Kyle added, talking about Nico's online series where he and another troller of the viewers choice went about ruining a bunch of poor saps Saturday. "Funny you should say that, because he should be here right about... Now." "The door burst open as Trey rushed in, Token close behind with the camera. "Come on, lets shoot this thing!" Trey said, ignoring Kyle and Stan's awe. Token began recording, Trey set up Battlefield 4, and Nico began to intro without missing a beat. "Hey Troll mites, you asked for him, I got him, back for another round here's The Troll of South Beach, Trey!" "Hey guys, what's up?" Trey said, waving to the camera. "Alright boys and girls, lets do what we do best and Troll some noobs, fools! Trey whats our game today?" "Today we've got Battlefield 4, and a total of 300,000 players total playing." Trey said. Nico smirked. "Care to take a shot at your own record buddy?" Trey laughed. "You know I do! Lets do this!"**

**13 and a half minutes later...**

**"Oh, oh, ohhhhhh!" The boys yelled as they listened to the rage of player number 300,000 slam his controller to the ground and smash the power button on his XBox, shattering the record. "Yes! We own!" Trey yelled. "You've been trolled, losers!" Nico exclaimed. "Oh dude that was so cool." Stan said. "Totally." Token and Kyle said at the same time. "Bwawawaw!" Ike said,**

**spouting nonsense. By that point al there friends had gathered in Kyle's house to watch Nico and Trey troll. "Yeah there pretty good." Eric said, trying to press the buttons in his phone to call his friend and talk on speaker like a tool. "Pretty good? Dude there legends!" Craig said incredulously. "Yeah there the best." Clyde agreed. "Guys we have more important crap to talk about! Like our game!" Cartman said. "What game?" Nico asked. "It's like Dungeons and Dragons! We use magic and swords and all kinds of stuff!" Butter cheered. "God Dammit Butters, you douche! Don't tell them." Cartman yelled. "Meh, sounds boring." Trey said. "Yeah. Now if it was like old time gangsters or something, then we'd play." Nico agreed. "Well you can pick your own faction. If you want gangsters, you can." Stan said. "No, God Dammit, you can't play!" Eric yelled. "Why not fat ass?" Kyle asked. "Yeah dude just let them play." Craig said. "What's your deal with them?" Stan asked. "I don't want them ruining the aspect if our game with modern stuff! It's old fashioned!" "But we let Kevin an the spaceship guys play with us." Butters pointed out. "Yeah how is this any different?" Clyde said. "Clyde your the dark armies you don't get a say! And Butters your just a paladin so shut up!" Eric yelled. "Lets vote. All in favor of letting Trey and Nico play as old time gangsters raise your hand." Kyle asked. All hands went up except Eric. "Nuh uh, they can't play because they have to have more than 2 people be on there side." Eric said. "No problem." Nico said, pulling up his Twitter. Suddenly everyone's phones went off. "Calling all subs to The Troll of South Beach and The Troll of the Leaning Tower! Homies needed to be old time gangsta s in awesome game in South Park, CO. Come now!" Treys tweet read. "Like that's gonna work." Eric said. Suddenly there was a pounding on the street. Eric looked out to see a ton of people dressed up 40's mob style. "Fuck!" Eric screamed. "Nice." Trey said and fist bumped Nico.**


	3. Chapter 3

South Park The Dragon Stone

Chapter 3

Trey and Nico knocked down the fence separating their houses and began to assemble their base. It started out as a simple tree house and somehow ended up a tree fort spanning both backyards, both roofs of the boys houses, and spilled out onto the sidewalk. Building the base was easy. Getting kids to join was even easier. The hardest part was finding an Al Capone hat. "How the hell can there not be a hat store in South Park? That doesn't make any sense. There Hats! It makes no sense!" Nico moaned. Trey shrugged. He was dressed up like Lamar Davis from GTA 5: Green ball cap, red bandana over his face, and black t-shirt and jeans. Nico was dressed Al Capone Style: white suit with black stripes and a grease pencil 5 o'clock shadow he painted. He was only missing his hat. "Is it really that important man?" Trey asked. "YES! Its the most important part!" Nico said. They boys continued to walk around until they bumped into Kenny. "Oh hey Kenny." Trey waved. "Mmmppmhhh." Kenny said. Nico blinked. "What the fuck did he just say? Hang on dude." Nico said, then walked over and yanked Kenny's hood off his head. "Hey, you did it!" Kenny said. "I just couldn't understand you. Hey, do you know any shop that sell Al Capone hats?" Nico asked. "No, but you can have mine." Kenny said, producing a random hat. "Cool." Nico said. He then put on the hat, looked at Trey, and said "Maybe we should go pay our good friend Cartman a visit, eh?" In a perfect Capone impersonation. Trey laughed. "Nic, you crazy. Lets go. 'Ait Kenny I'll catch up with you later." "Bye Trey." Kenny said, walking off to make a new costume to replace his princess outfit. He just wasn't rolling like that anymore.

"Warriors, I have gathered you here because after much deliberation- we have been assigned the task of protecting the Dragon Stone. We must protect it to the last man. And above all- never let it fall into Kyle's greedy Jew hands." Cartman said, looking over his team:Token, the healer, Tweek, the sentry, Butters, the paladin, Scott Malkinson, the diabetic shopkeeper, and, and... "Where is he? Where is King Douche bag the Jew?" Cartman asked. "He was hanging out with Nico." Scott said. "What?" "He was with Nico. Swapped sides man! It was all over Jew Fantasy RPG !" Tweek yelled. "GOD DAMMIT! Wait, wheres Princess Kenny?" "He left a note." Butters said. "Eric, went to hang out with Trey and his friend and swapped sides. Sorry if I kill you later on. JK, wont feel to bad. From, Kenny." "GOD DAMMIT!" Eric screamed. "Eric, would you and your friends like a snack?" Eric groaned. "No mom, we're busy discussing punishment for betrayal and plotting domination one we unlock the Dragon Stone." "Okay, but remember, lunchtime is at 4." His mom called. "Okay mom. Alright lets talk defensive strategy. I think we-" Eric began but was interrupted by Butters. "Alarm, Alarm, Alarm!" Butters screamed. "Enemies of freedom! Whose coming?" Eric asked. "Its the Phoenix Gang, man! Run!" Tweek yelled, running off. "Dammit, Tweek, come back!" Cartman yelled, but he was pelted by something. Eric turned around to see a kid holding an Air Soft machine gun scaling the fence. "Fuck, their armed! Protect the stone!" But it was a pretty one sided fight. Trey and Nico didn't believe in that turn based crap. So it went from a civilized battle to an absolute mob killing. Nico and Trey climbed the fence last to retrieve the stone. Trey smiled behind his bandana at the carnage. "Too easy, brother." Nico said, voicing Treys thought. "You said it. KENNY! DOUCHE BAG!" Trey yelled. Kenny and Douche bag jumped up from there seats by the door. "Whats the status on the door?" Kenny shook his head. "Its 3 inch plywood with screws stolen from the bathroom door of a gas station in Denver. Impenetrable without some form of explosive." Kenny said. "Easy boys. Use this." Trey said, handing them a pack of dynamite with a timer. Douche Bag smiled. "Awesome." They boys armed the bomb and took cover behind the fence. Then the door exploded. Nico coughed and yelled out "Casualty report!" The boys looked around until someone called out "I got a man down!" Nico and Trey rushed over to find Sanchez, and old friend of Treys from South Beach with a pretty big splinter in his hand. "What happened homie?" Trey said, kneeling down. Sanchez laughed. "Ah, stood to close to the damn door." "Medic!" Trey yelled. No one came. "Oh fuck we don't have a doctor. Anybody here trained in medical? Magic or otherwise?" Nico asked. "I'm a doctor. Or healer, if we're being specific." Token called out. Trey shrugged. "Close enough. Do it and you can live." Token nodded. "I'll get to work." Just then a greasy haired boy burst through the fence. "Wait! I'm a doctor! A real pretend doctor! I can save this man,boy,mafia goon, gang member, person!" "Hey Vinnie. Your late," Nico chuckled. Vinnie laughed. "When am I ever not late?" Trey looked at Token. "Looks like we don't need you anymore." Nico shrugged. "Might as well set up the firing squad now." Trey nodded. "Hey, maybe we should just be gangsters. Lose the Capone, you dig?" Nico shrugged. "Yeah, I'll just be Michael since your Lamar. I just need some polo shirts and and those khaki shorts. I got some. Hang on.

5 minutes later...

"Okay I'm back. So lets kill some fools. Hostages, against the wall!" Nico yelled. The kids in Kupa Keep helplessly stood on the wall. "Squad, pick a target!" The boys lined up. "Take aim!" The sights lined up. "Fire!" The pellets bounced all around, but missed the hostages. "God damn recoil!" One of the kids yelled. Trey shrugged. "Ah, screw it. Lets grab the stone and get out of here. This place bites." The boys turned to see Eric was gone- and he took the stone with him. "That sneaky son of a bitch!" Nico yelled, kicking Eric's castle. Trey smirked. "No worries. He won't get far. He's to fat. Lets ditch his friends and go after him." Nico nodded. Then produced a PayDay 2 mask randomly. "Lets go hunt a fatass.


	4. Chapter 4

South Park:The Dragon Stone

Chapter 4

Eric ran as far as he could: which was only as far as Kyle's house. "God Damn that gang! Must. Reach. Kyle." Eric said, falling over. He tried to catch his breath, but yelped as more air soft pellets bounced off the fence. "Kyle." Eric said, falling over himself as more pellets bounced off his head. After 20 minutes, Cartman finally reached Kyle's door. "KYLE!" Cartman yelled. Kyle finally answered the door. "What?" Cartman panted nonstop, barely able to stand up. "Kyle. The- the-" "Spit it out fat ass, Im busy." Kyle said. "The Phoenix gang. Their after the stone. Hide me!" Cartman yelled, running inside. Kyle shrugged. 10 seconds later, there was knock at the door. Kyle opened it to find Trey, Nico, and there friends. "Did fat ass run in here?" Trey asked. Kyle felt the stone, which Cartman had given to him. "Nope." Kyle said. Trey laughed. "Kyle, we know you have what we want." He then pulled out a desert eagle.92 air soft pistol. "Now hand it over." Kyle backed up a step. "Sorry but, I have to... Run away now!" Kyle said, running out the door. Nico ran off. "Go get Cartman, We'll get the stone!" Trey nodded and darted upstairs after Cartman.

"Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no no!" Cartman mumbled, running up the stairs. "No. No. No. Ah, window!" he said, running towards an open window. But when he tried to get through, he was to fat! Trey laughed. "Fatty fat to big for the rabbit hole?" "Suck my balls!" Cartman yelled. "How bout suck my lead!" Trey yelled, then fired 3 times, hitting Eric right in the chest, smashing him through the window and off the roof. "God dammit!" Eric yelled as he fell out the second story and hit the ground. "Oh hell no, fatty. Your not getting off that easy." Trey yelled down, jumping off the roof. "Fuck!" Cartman yelled as he stumbled to his feet and managed to clear the fence. "And the hunt is on, fatty!" Trey laughed, jumping over the fence after him.

"STAN!" Kyle yelled as pellets bounced all around him. "Were coming for you Kyle!" Nico yelled. Kyle managed to get to Stans house and cleared the fence. "Stan! Stan, Nico and Trey started a gang and the killed Kupa Keep guys and they shot Eric and now there coming after me! Hide me!" Kyle yelled when Stan came to the door. "K." Stan said, flipping through his Playboy. "Thanks Stan!" Kyle said running off. Soon Nico and his friends ran in. "Did a Jew carrying a rock come in here?" Nico asked. "He's upstairs." Stan said distractedly. "Thank you!" Nico yelled, leading his friends upstairs. "Look at those tig old bitties." Stan said. Nico forced his way into Stans room to find Kyle had disappeared. "Search the room. Find that Stone!" Nico yelled, and the guys began to turn the room upside down. After 30 minutes, the only thing they had discovered was a guy in the closet who refused to come out. "He's gotta be here somewhere. Keep looking." Nico said, unaware that Kyle was hidden under Stans bed. After another hour, Nico groaned and said "Forget it. Lets head back and plan our next phase." One of the other boys stepped up and said "But sir, what about the stone?" Nico laughed. "Don't worry Mike. We'll get it. One way or another. We'll get it." Kyle shivered.

"Hey Cartman. Come out and Play!" Trey called, armed with a Tommy gun and a knife hunting for Cartman. "NO!" Cartman yelled back. "Are you sure?" Trey asked, moving closer to his voice. "Actually, I have a question." Cartman's voice said. "Whats that?" Trey asked, standing on the other side of the tree Cartman was behind. But when he jumped out, all he found was a wireless speaker. "When did you realize you were a dumb shit?" Cartman's voice mocked. "God Dammit!" Trey yelled, kicking over the speaker. "Trey. Bad news. We lost Kyle." Nico's voice came from his cell phone. "I lost Cartman. Again." Trey groaned, kicking the speaker again. "No worries. We'll get 'em. Now come back to base. We're regrouping and making the next plan. "Im coming." Trey said, kicking the speaker one last time before stalking off.

Kyle rolled out from under Stans bed. He was in a silent shock. Not because he'd just been in a high tense situation. Not because he was in possession of the games ancient relic. But because when Nico had been standing next to the bed, the stone began glowing and pulling towards Nico. Which could only mean one thing- Nico was the warrior of the dragon stone.


End file.
